Okayyy then...


Okayyy then... message received...
 That same message could have been delivered a lot earlier if you dared to communicate honestly...
Obviously it's heartbreaking for me that you've not only chosen to disappear, but that absolutely everything we had is gone. Friendship and all.
I know that ultimately I made many mistakes but us staying in contact through new year's really meant a lot to me. 
You told me that when you blocked me you weren't blocking me, you were blocking that ugly person that would show through when I drank too much and became emotional... 
Again, that meant a lot to me, that you were always able to see the real me...

I'm proud to say that those times are behind me.
It's been more than a year now since our fallout. 
More than a year since the world ended.
Time truly does fly...
I was hoping that over time, as I improved and got healthy, our relationship would repair itself and we could actually look towards the future...
The message you're sending me is not only is that not realistic, but that you don't even want it...
Absolute gutful to try and stomach...
Everything you ever said was a lie!
For all the wrong I did, at least I stayed true to my word on essentially everything that ever came out of my mouth - the good and the bad...

You used me.
You used me to test the strength of your already existent relationship.
He had insinuated before that it might be hot to share you - you found out that wasn't the case.
You thought he didn't care about you and was just into gaming all the time - you found out that wasn't the case, also.
You thought he wouldn't put in any effort - To your pleasant surprise he actually was willing to.
You thought he would let you walk away, and you were quietly pleased to find out that wasn't true aswell...

...that's FACTS...

...So, I accept your thanks and appreciation for helping to test the depths of your relationship...
You're welcome.

Me, however, I regret absolutely everything.
You and I both know nothing would have ever happened if you weren't promoted.
You would have been over your side of the factory and me on mine.
I always kept my hands to myself...until you gave me a reason not to.
I don't think you ever had evil intentions, I believe you were just lovesick and "lacking in a lot of areas," exactly what you said. 
It was true then and its true now. 
It's just so rough that I ended up being the Guinea pig for your little experiment. 

August 18, 2023 - You were nonexistent in my life or mind.
August 18, 2024 - You were my everything.
August 18, 2025 - Back to being nonexistent.

So, thank you for everything.
I'm sure we've both learnt valuable lessons.
It may seem counter intuitive but I'm going to leave you with my number on the chance you no longer have it but wish that you did in the future.
You can find it on Spotify.

Outside of that, I wish you the best.
I'll always love you, whether I want to or not because, for me... 
...it was real.

Kind regards xx



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