As I look out and contemplate life, I find it to be rather grounding.
I took myself out today, which is usual for me...
...I've found it therapeutic to get out in the sun and soak it up a bit.
I was walking down Seaford Rd today with no shirt on, you would have loved it...
...I was soaking in the female eyes of every car that drove by...
...as I strolled along, I couldn't help but wonder about the people passing me by...
I wonder what their days are like...
...I wonder what sort of a house they are going home to...
...I can't help but feel sorry for these people, you've got some of them that are homeless and have no family, no parents, no siblings, and the only reason they are still alive is because their heart is still beating...
...that's rough...
With no car license and no prospects, it's hard to feel motivated each day.
When you've got a doctors certificate stating that you will be unable to undertake work for the next 13-24 months it's hard to not attach yourself to that.
I'm due a holiday, and I'm being provided it now whether I like it or not...
I caught the bus to Frankston station, thinking I would be able to get another bus from there to Blackburn.
...Not so...
...I caught the train from Frankston to Southland...
...Got off at Southland and expected to get a bus to Blackburn...
...No love...
...So, I caught a bus from Southland to Chadstone thinking id be able to get a Blackburn bus from there...
...No love...
...I could only get as close as Ringwood...
...So, I jumped on the bus to Ringwood and got off on Blackburn Road...
...From there I was able to catch a Blackburn bus to Blackburn station...
...I've finally arrived...
Thats what life is like for me now, even travelling somewhere local takes a whole bunch of effort...
Fun!
I remember after my last car accident I received a call from my AOD counselor.
He said, "Justin, I don't know what to do!"
I replied, "I don't understand, what do you mean?"
He said, "I've been working with you for the last few months because you've been a danger to yourself but now it's gotten to a point where you're a danger to the public..."
...That was eye opening for me...
...I've never had much regard for my own personal safety, but I certainly have regard for the safety of others...
...And so, I took myself away from the driver's seat...
...Even if VicRoads contacted me and wanted me to drive, I'd decline.
I'm in no position for such a thing...
I spend my time at PARC (Peninsula Aquatic and Recreation Centre)
Flirting with the females around and seeing what I can make happen...
...Ultimately, I can't make anything happen and I go home alone...
It was such a perfect day today, crystal clear sunshine and pure blue skies.
I was in awe.
Still, I don't feel satisfied and content with where I'm at.
...this disease is something else...
Comments
Post a Comment